Call it bad timing. Thanksgiving and the International Day to Eliminate Violence against Women fell on the same day this year. So no one heard much about this important day. It wasn’t discussed between “Pass the turkey, please.” or “Want some more wine?”.

Who could have predicted that turkey dinner and football would win out over marches and vigils for a safer world for women? Well, everyone who has worked to improve the quality of life along the border. This special day for awareness, especially along the border where it is most needed, went almost completely unnoticed.

This latter event was designated by the United Nations five years ago. It was not, however, just due to the plight of women, which remains abhorrent even now in the 21st Century. It came about because women have not stood still or quiet.

Women have become much more empowered and have risen to the heights of government and policy making. From this vantage point women have recounted the harsh treatment that women have endured and are still enduring. With awareness that their fellow sisters are still being killed and abused throughout the world, the goal of an international call for peace toward women was finally accomplished. This milestone was achieved by women who were finally able to embed this reality into the male dominated psyche of their colleagues.

Why does it take women speaking out to get this message across? Because men have been for too long, if not forever, content to allow the injustice and abuse of women. Could this day signify a change in course? To be sure, something has started. However, this is not taking the place of football games on television. This change in course occurred at the level of the United Nations. Now we must insure that this proclamation receives the response that it requires… at the local, regional level and global level.

And that is? We all must also let this new awareness sink into our psyche. Women must be respected. Women must not be harmed. Women have sensibilities that we as a society and as a planet depend upon. Those sensibilities must not be dented, tarnished nor crushed. Men must recognize this fact. Period. And women in better circumstances need to stop taking advantage of women of less means. All the abuse must stop.

The mission statement is the easy part. Men must change. Women must help them. Women must change. Etc., etc., etc. What about the hard part?

Men do not suddenly, at the age of 28 or 36, become abusive toward women. The fact that women are not respected and instead harmed or worse is an indictment of our whole society. We teach men to disrespect women. We teach men to violate a women's boundaries. We even covertly teach the "double standard" which makes women second class citizens. Is it any wonder that women learn that they must allow these violations to go unanswered and accepted.

The solution is not the opposite either. We do not need any "Male Bashing". That would be like saying that Affirmative Action gives African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans and Native Americans and other oppressed minorities the right to harass, torment and lynch anglos. No, the solution is that we must stop using force on women to get women to stop being who they are. Any force. Physical, emotional, financial or psychological.

Put another way, a woman is who she is and sees the world as she sees it. No one else, man or woman, can see it the exact same way. By the same token, no one else will see the world the exact same way as any man. So who is right. Everyone is right if they are true to themselves. Therefore, to try to twist or bend another persons perception of the world, in this case a woman's, is violent and abusive. A persons vision is not a reason for violence.

Unless, there is a caring and supportive atmosphere for women to listen to another's point of view and to be allowed to keep her point of view if she chooses; there is violence toward women. That is what must be stopped immediately.

Why? Because if we don't, then we as a society will continue to teach our young boys and girls that women don't count. Until we give women the same pay for equal work, we tell our children that women are not valuable. Until a women can say "Try caring" instead of bullets, bombs and blood, we tell our children that women are not smart. Until women are respected for being women and not as an appendage of a man, then we tell our children that women are to be used. Those are all the wrong signals to be sending to our children. Especially, in a world that is so much in need of peace.

Our country must be a leader in peace on this planet. The U.S. economy is weakened and engaged in rebuilding while at war. Any further disruption like the horrific tragedy of 9/11 will send our economy into a tailspin. While there is still time, we must build peace. We must educate all to find wisdom and in so doing so find respect for women. Eliminating violence against women is just a start to ending violence toward children and the start of peace on earth.

Ending the violence toward women is just a start but it will change the shape and sound of our world. And as we enter the Christmas season let us remember that "Peace on Earth" starts here at home, at school, in the work place and in the bedroom.

Editor, Upper Valley Beacon
Copyright 2004 Valley Publishing Company

For questions or comments concerning this site, contact: webmaster@valleypublishinginc.biz